The difference between shepherding desire and avoiding pain is the difference between disciple and deprivation.
Efficiency is the end of discipline just as a straight line is evidence of mathematical equilibrium.
the law of inverse proportion
Cuckold’s Law: the percentage of Bitch in a given woman is inversely proportional to the percentage of Cuck in her mate.
have you ever been rejected by a girl? do you know who she was rejecting? it wasn’t you! she was rejecting the poor imitation of herself. this is women are disgusted by so-called Nice GuysTM. cucks who repeat women’s beliefs back to their owners behave exactly like women; they defer like women, they submit like women, they even sound like women. because they are committed to supporting the beliefs of women instead of their own. and thus, by refusing to commit to the beliefs they already hold, these poor clueless men merely become knock-off versions of those they admire.
imagine hanging around a person who does nothing but try to imitate the way you dress, think, behave, and express yourself. not only would you be annoyed, you would quickly become repulsed by this fraudulent version of you!
this is why girls want you to be your own person. as a cheap imitation of a female, you’re of no use to them! they’re not looking to get into a lesbian relationship with themselves. they want a man who meets their need for companionship, who can make decisions on their behalf, whose authority they respect enough to submit their lives to. they want to be under his care. they don’t want the responsibility of being forced to function as his mother. if they’re going to commit their lives to his hands, they want to be assured that he’s at least committed to his own beliefs, not theirs.. otherwise they’ll be worried that he’s going to be too easily swayed by opposing view, or more likely another woman competing for his affection.
this is why women always complain about the lack of commitment from men in their relationships. this seems to point to the issue of sexual fidelity, but the real source of the problem starts with committing to someone else’s beliefs over your own. women want the security that only a committed man and his committed beliefs can provide. not the passive discount friendship that you offer in its place. commitment to your own beliefs translates into commitment to the people in your life.
the same applies to your male relationships. i want you to be your own person, not a cheap imitation of me. not only is it extremely off-putting to have someone do a bad imitation of me, it’s the reason i don’t want to depend on you in the first place. what good are you if all you can do is repeat my beliefs back to me? how can i trust a guy who refuses to tell me what he believes? how can i care about a guy who keeps his real motives a secret? i can’t relate to different cultures and different lifestyles. the only realm where all human beings are guaranteed to relate is necessity. this is the only motivating aspect of human life. you must either learn to tap into it or suffer the consequences of neglecting it.
if you want to remove the danger of humiliation, if you want to 100% rejection-proof your life, then commit to the beliefs you already hold; if you’re wrong, your beliefs can be adjusted. but if you don’t commit to your own beliefs—even if you’re right, even if you’re informed, even if you’re smart, even if you’re rich, even if you’re moral—NOBODY WILL CARE ABOUT YOU!
yes, it’s understandable that your default attitude is to commit to everyone else’s beliefs. this is how your parents and society conditioned you to think. this is how you survived. this is how you achieved success in life. but to fully meet another person’s need for companionship, you have to IMMEDIATELY STOP committing to their beliefs and start committing to your own beliefs regardless of whether they are right or wrong, good or bad, stupid or intelligent. your commitment to your own beliefs is the key to attracting other people’s commitment to you. the right information, the moral judgment, the intelligent insight, the correct beliefs are USELESS without the commitment to enforce them. they are no different than a cop trying to enforce the law without his badge or gun. nobody will take him seriously.
there is no such thing as a lack of commitment. if you are not committed to your own beliefs, then by default are already committed to someone else’s beliefs. there is no neutral zone; either you commit to your beliefs, or you will forever be stuck trying to imitate someone else’s, which will only leave you frustrated as they continue to reject the counterfeit version of themselves.
committing to your own beliefs alleviates the frustration of suppressing your desires. if you’re committed to telling me on what i want to hear instead of committing to what you want to say, you’ll remain frustrated. and it will be your fault. and you will deserve it. because you refuse to open the steam value in your being to alleviate the pent up pressure of suppressed Necessity.
by the way, even if your beliefs are wrong, at least your commitment to them will cause others to criticize you accordingly, to help you fix them. or if your beliefs benefit other people, your commitment to them will incentivize people to cooperate with you. they will change their own beliefs according to your commitment. in either case, you must stay true to what you already believe. otherwise, you offer no incentive, no motivation for people to trust you, even though what you’re saying may be of help to them.
e.g., let’s assume you believe the earth is flat. even though the belief is objectively wrong, if you commit to that belief, people will work to correct you. because your commitment will motivate them to care. when you’re committed to believing something that other people disagree with, they will want to know why you think it’s so important. they will begin to question why they themselves are not as committed to their beliefs as you are to yours. if you commit to something they don’t believe, your commitment essentially highlights the disparity between your life and theirs. do you have something they don’t have? are you doing something a better way? do you know something they don’t? that is the purpose of commitment—to motivate others to act on your behalf. In other words, commitment creates relationships. commitment creates culture.
commitment makes people care about you.
commitment even beats handsome.
if, however, you continue to commit the beliefs of other, nobody will be willing to point out your mistakes. they will simply ignore them. at least if you’re committed to a bad decision, people will be willing to address the problem because your commitment will fuel them to respond.
commitment isn’t a choice. it’s a realization. i don’t commit because i want to commit or need to commit or even desire to commit. i commit because i see NO OTHER CHOICE. all my choices must first be removed for commitment to exist.
e.g., when you commit to spending the rest of your life with a girl you’ve fallen in love with, it’s not really because she’s the best option among 400 other girls. if that’s the case, then you really don’t love her. you’re just settling for the best girl you can find at the time. this isn’t commitment. this is convenience.
if you’re genuinely in love with a girl it means all the other options don’t matter anymore. you have no other choices left. no other girl can make you feel the way she makes you feel. no other girl has the power to attract you the way she does.
once you’ve exhausted all your options, the only thing left is direction.
commitment means you have finally find the direction in which you want to head to be happy. all other optional destinations lose their appeal. you are not motivated to choose anything else. this is the true nature of commitment.
i.e., you don’t decide to accept the girl you love. in your mind, you must have no other choice left. love has made up your mind for you because it removes all other women from your view. thus, if you can still see other options, you’re not yet in love with your own belief. your belief is not meeting your needs, just like the girl you supposedly love isn’t meeting them either. thus, by definition, you’re committed to someone else’s belief. you’re still committed to other choices since your own choice can’t fulfill your desire.
when athletes are committed to their sports, they will neglect seeing their families every day, they will destroy their bodies for their teams, they will sacrifice their own health to win a championship because they see no other alternative.
when gang members are committed to their neighborhoods, they will kill each other to protect their territory. they will put their own lives in danger and commit heinous acts of violence because they see no other way to live.
when asian students are committed to pleasing their parents, they will cheat on tests to get an A. they will develop unhealthy studying habits, and even give up their social lives to succeed. they can think of no other course of action to achieve happiness.
when soldiers are committed to their duties, they will run towards gunfire, throw themselves on grenades, jeopardize their lives to save others, and do it all over again because in their minds it’s the only choice they have.
the winners in any competitive arena are always determined by their commitment. if you are more committed than your opponent, then you will always find a way to win. even if the cost involves the sacrifice of human life. thus, to be fully committed in a competitive environment means to be willing to kill yourself or your opponent to succeed. that is why competition and the competitive relationships it produces are so fucking dangerous.
granted, many of these examples are negative in nature, but they demonstrate the extent of commitment. you don’t have to follow in their footsteps or appreciate their sacrifice, but you should respect their ability to commit to their beliefs because it’s a realization that all people must depend on to address their need for companionship. while many of these people are trapped by the competitive beliefs of their parents, they at least were motivated to achieve a goal. you require that same motivation to achieve your goal of happiness. but instead of ending up with some flimsy trophy, or a broken body, or worse—a bullet to the head—your goal to achieve a cooperative relationship will turn your apathetic life into a satisfying existence.
attitude governs behavior
committing to your own beliefs isn’t just a one time choice. it’s an attitude that affects every decision you make in life. being committed to your beliefs is what motivates people to respond to you. when you remain committed to the beliefs of others, your words lose their meaning and impact. people will refuse to follow you. if they can already find what you’re offering, on a dead piece of paper in a library book that somebody else has already committed to, why would they ever choose you? in fact, when you remain committed to the beliefs of others, you’re no different than human furniture. this is often why people ignore you. your words may touch the intellect, then may even bother my conscience a little bit, but your commitment touches my emotions because it represents life. and more importantly, it contains life. commitment is evidence that you are alive because only living things can commit.
how to commit
even though competitive relationships cause suffering, there is something valuable to learn from them. when fighting against an opponent, the best way to play defense is to attack. you must move FORWARD to be successful. you must always dictate the amount of pace and pressure you exert on your opponent. waiting around passively for opponents to attack you is a mistake.
everything obeys the laws of physics. action always causes reaction. acting first always forces your opponent to react to you. he must now go where you direct him. instead of waiting around to defend against criticism, you shift the burden onto the critic. he must answer you. he must work at your pace. because you made the decision to speak first and act first, the defense feels the pressure to respond. this also affords you plenty of breathing room to react yourself. then you can adjust to correct your position instead of twisting in the wind to appease the sense of panic you feel from those pressuring you to act.
Bruce Lee acted. his opponents reacted. he is considered the best fighter of all time.
Michael Jordan acted. his opponents reacted. he won 6 championships.
Donald Trump acted. his opponents reacted. he won the presidency of the United States.
Conor McGregor acted. Floyd Mayweather reacted. he won the first 4 rounds against the most unbeatable boxer in the world.
the same principle applies outside of the dysfunctional realm of competition. in life, you must act first. you must set the tone first. you must decide first. you must dictate your terms first. you must choose to speak first, to tell people why you believe whatever it is that you believe. you must criticize first. you must praise first. you must pioneer. acting first isn’t a matter of competing. it’s proof that you’re committed to your own beliefs. those who are commit to their own beliefs ALWAYS ACT FIRST! if your goal is to react, this is proof that you’re not committed to your own beliefs yet. you’re still committed to my beliefs.
plants are living things. that’s why they feed and then grow. feed and grow. feed and grow. fuel up first. then act.
conversely, people eat food, and then wait. study, and then calculate. train, and then plan. prepare, and then anticipate. consider, and then stall. they are the opposite of natural. they suppress their ability to act, their instinct to act. this is why they experience so many problems in life. the waiting game is the aging game. the only thing stagnation achieves is atrophy. the only useful contingency against failure is to fail first.
staying stuck is a choice just like addressing your needs requires you to make a decision. you can’t escape failure just like you can’t escape self-sacrifice. all living things must push like salmon swimming upstream to survive. they must act to thrive. even a coyote caught in a bear trap will act to gnaw its own foot off to live. just like an animal acts against its own body to survive, you must act against your own fear.
i know this is difficult on your own. that’s why i wrote this book for you. that’s why i work with guys just like you on a daily basis to help them make this choice to commit to their own beliefs.
you will still believe what you believe regardless of whether or declare your beliefs aloud. so you must act on your beliefs, otherwise they serve no purpose other than to bring you added frustration that you will carry around until death.
who are you committed to?
when you ask “what does this person want from me?” your own behavior becomes the object of your focus. self-introspection takes over. the result is a neurotic urge to please your audience. you are now committed to supporting someone else’s beliefs.
when you ask “what do i want?” the outside world becomes the object of your focus. neurotic, debilitating introspection is replaced by the demand of accountability. instead of being burdened by the never-ending task of trying to justify your existence to the world, you burden the world with the judgment of your belief. now, it must serve your need for cooperation instead of you trying to serve its dysfunctional tradition of competition.
proof of commitment
how will people respond if you’re committed to your beliefs instead of theirs? they’ll be interested in what you’re saying. they won’t feel anxious or bored around you. they will want to hang around you and do things for you to earn your praise. they will be motivated to act on your beliefs and ultimately form a cooperative relationship with you.
“if you don’t enjoy what you’re saying FIRST, i can’t enjoy it SECOND! i want to enjoy it on YOUR TERMS! this also inspires me in my own life to focus on what i appreciate first before i try to make others appreciate it second.”—Mexican Proverb
how do you know if you’re committed to your own beliefs? firstly, you’ll feel a sense of relief immediately after speaking. second, you’ll actually enjoy sharing your beliefs with others because of the motivating praise and criticism they’ll offer in return. third, you’ll focus on what you want to say instead of wondering what your audience wants to hear. fourth, you’ll stop calculating your reactions to others and just give them immediately and spontaneously without prompting. fifth, you’ll focus on your present needs instead of your past comforting memories or future escape plans from your current shitty life. sixth, you’ll remove or stop people who are preventing you from getting your needs met. seventh, you’ll finally feel comfortable in your own skin, especially around strangers. eighth, you’ll know exactly what to say; you’ll stop fumbling for the right words because you’ll stop worrying about what other people want to hear and focus instead on what you already believe…..