Post
by Bunny Boy » Thu Jun 28, 2018 7:06 am
I'm happy if I do it occasionally. If I did it consistently, I would be teaching. I'm consistently committed to other peoples belief.
I'm here because classes do work for me. I feel alive after each class, especially if I speak up, and if I am active. And getting stoned sucks, but being in the background sucks even more.
I wish I could just instantly switch to math's way of socializing. But my old habits are so persistent, I expect it to take a while. And since I do have friends, I don't really believe I am that bad at socializing to begin with. But, I also know I'm not happy. I also know I'm afraid of talking, to girls especially. So I can see I'm bad at socializing intellectually, but I don't believe it.
I like classes cause they help me break out of my shell, and help try out different things that I couldn't do with people in my surrounding. Things like telling people to fuck off, telling them they're stupid when that's what I think of them. But also getting humbled when some of them say "OK, I'm stupid, you show me what to do", and I have no solution to offer.